Consenting Adults?

the shape of water in the age of consent: how hollywood hasn't changed.

MONDAY, March 5th 2018

At last Sunday’s Oscars The Shape of Water, a romanticized version of Female Teachers as Sexual Predators  was

the big winner… but why? Let’s review and get a few things straight about the film:

1. Women do not masturbate in water… actually most humans don’t ( dolphins might but that’s besides the point

and not relevant to the following argument - it has to do with friction, people).

2. The amphibian man was a prisoner, an abused prisoner. Please note the CHAIN around his neck.

3. The amphibian man was hungry.  He liked to eat hard boiled eggs (gross)...and cats.

4. The amphibian man exhibited the intellect of a twelve year old child… if even (granted this could have

been because of the language barrier - WHICH. ISNT. BETTER.).

5. … there was a massive language barrier making communication with our “heroine” shoddy at best.

6. The amphibian man was rescued from his prison by our heroine AKA he was powerless and indebted to her.  

Unequal power dynamics: teacher/student, boss/employee, captor/captee.

7.  Our heroine proceeded to “wait” AKA hold the amphibian man captive because she was convinced of

their love. Can I say stockholm syndrome?

All of these blazing arrows point to the fact that, regardless of what the amphibian man could actually

comprehend about the situation, the audience saw a woman construct a fictional romantic narrative and

then force it on amphibian man.

Elisa didn’t think she was doing “anything wrong,” Elisa thought “he wanted it.” When in reality, we have

NO idea what the amphibian man was thinking or feeling. Correction: we knew he was hungry (thus the eggs

and cat) but really his inner monologue could have been, “please, help me! I’ll do anything to get out of

here/my current station in life or get a job or make it in this industry even if it means having sex with you!”

Sound familiar?! If not, let me help you: #metoo, Harvey Weinstein, Louis CK, Al Franken, Dustin Hoffman,

Don Hazen, the list goes on and on. If the roles in this film had been reversed it would have been unacceptable.

One woman’s projected fictional reality does not mean that interspecies coerced sex is acceptable.  Sexual

harassment awareness training teaches us that in no way did the amphibian man give verbal or physical consent

to sexual activity with Elisa. That being said, even if one of his actions could be interpreted as consent, the

unequal power dynamics between Elisa and him alone made it inappropriate and and downright creepy.

So, why did The Shape of Water win big? Because Hollywood hasn’t changed. A man still won an oscar for best picture with a film about abuse of power and sexual coercion that had no higher commentary than that of a wet dream of a thirteen year old boy about what women want. Nothing has changed.

the tribe: a nightmarish ballet

the tribe: a nightmarish ballet

WEDNESDAY, July 8th 2015

SPOILERS.  

DO NOT READ THIS.  

JUST GO SEE THE MOVIE.

are you the type of person who always locks their car door?  their house door? the type that thinks the old man walking behind you is faking his limp and is really there to nab your purse or WORSE kidnap you and rape you?  what about that harmless group of 16 year old kids hanging out - no...lingering at the mall?  obviously, they plan to follow you to your car and kill you right? duh. well, that's me.  and The Tribe did nothing to assuage my fears, in fact, it confirmed them ALL and gave me new even darker ones to obsess over.  despite all of this everyone needs to go see it.  it is unlike anything you have ever experienced...film wise...I don't know you, maybe you've had an at home abortion or maybe you like to prostitute yourself at truck stops on weekends, I don't know.  anyway.

the entire film is in sign language with no subtitles, did you hear me? NO SUBTITLES.  it's about a TRIBE of the scariest most intense teenagers in a ukrainian boarding school for the deaf doing the most horrific things you can imagine.  apparently, ex-crime reporter and first time feature director myroslay slaboshipytskiy set out to make a "new silent film," which he did, oh yes, he did.  the story is based on things that he himself had either experienced or reported on - meaning that the whole movie is NOT his colorful imagination.  teens do this shit in ukraine.  again, confirming all my fears about humanity.  you are not safe.  people will hurt you.  trust no one. 

now, that being said, seeing past all the gruesome violence of this film, is actually the amazing part. i literally had no idea what anyone was saying to each other...but i did.  this movie was private to me.   i became the writer in some sense, not of the overall plot but of the moments, of the dialogue exchanged.  i projected hopes and dreams and motivations on everyone via body language.  i tried desperately to understand all these characters and i wasn't alone - but i was alone.  days later, i think about what other audience members were experiencing: what did their movie look like? what were they writing?  

it was a very introspective experience and a huge lesson.  never underestimate your audience.   our minds are amazing things and this film smashed mine wide open with the nightstand next to my bed.  also. never go to ukraine.  never never never.  people will attack and beat you unconscious on the train.  but do go see this movie.  see this movie.   let your brain roll.  go see this "nightmarish ballet."

last five years

last five years

FRIDAY, March 13 2015

i finally ramped up enough enthusiasm to watch the last five years to outweigh my fear of the soul crushing depression i would fall into after watching it.  good news everyone - it wasn't successful.  the material lost so much meat in the translation from stage to film.  it's clear that well intentioned richard lagravenese didn't know how to handle jason robert brown's piece.  usually (onstage) all, but one, of the songs are performed alone... understandably this doesn't work for film so lagravenese force's us to watch one actor perform their little heart out and the other buzz around awkwardly like a annoying gnat.  it is utterly deflating.  in all fairness this worked once - the schmuel song.

other than that anna kendrick is a star.  the other guy - exactly - was a let down.  jamie has some of my favorite songs and i didn't care one ounce for them.  it's the first time i've _wanted_ to see norbert leo grace the silver screen.  anna kendrick stole the show.  i would say "don't waste your time" but i mean....don't?

woah - scott tobias and i are literally the same person.  except...he is a better writer, ok!? I KNOW! i'm not totally delusional.  jesus gimmie a break guys.  READ his review.