Monday, April 27, 2015

pete campbell said "poop"

pete campbell said "poop"
MONDAY, April 27th 2015

the last most cherished season of mad men is a slog for me.  it's the last thing we used to do together that exists in the whole world!!!  i can't wait for it to be over....but i never want it to end.  what a fucking metaphor.  anyway.  i'm losing the battle. i'll never fall in love again and i'll never be successful.

mad men time & life made me laugh out loud all alone (see above) so many times.  so many poop jokes surrounded pete.  he even SAID "poop" out loud on screen.  it was marvelous.  this was his episode.  runner up was ted chaough - his face when pharmaceuticals was gifted to him in the meeting with mccann was priceless.  oh yeah.  peggy had a poignant moment with stan, the "oh wait! we gotta wrap up peggy's baby story for the audience, make them feel safe and warm and happy" moment.  which is rare for the show - audience condescension isn't really their bag.   elizabeth moss has never looked better.

my life is the ending of this episode.  me trying to tell myself (the evacuating audience) that "this isn't the end.  it's the beginning of something new."  yeah right.  fuck.  i miss diana.  so much.

Saturday, April 25, 2015

i'm hungry

i'm hungry 
SATURDAY, April 25th 2015

you guuuuuuuuyyyysssssssss when does hannibal come back?  i miss this black stag guy and NO i don't mean morpheus.  jesus...but i do miss him too.  wait did he die? see! it's been sooooooooo long i don't even remember what happened at the end of season 2.  bryan fuller COM'ON!

Monday, April 20, 2015

sticky fingers

sticky fingers
MONDAY, April 20th 2015

the forecast was a weird one for me.  i tend not to like it when i can feel the creator's sticky little paw prints all over an episode.  this one felt like matt weiner the middle aged white man exploring his own life and imminent crisis.  it also didn't help that his son made a reappearance.  i realize how hypocritical it is for me to be critical of this because so much of why i LOVE this show is because of matt i can't quite figure it out.  maybe i just hate the plight of the middle aged white male and last night they laid it on thick.

BaBAM though, hunky charlie weiner.  i feel like he begged his dad to let him come on the show one more time so america could see his transformation from pudgy weirdo to young joaquin phoenix.  the scene between betty, sally and him was one of the weirdest and worst acted things i've ever seen BUT i loved it.  so clunky, so good.  it's a style unique to mad men.

peggy's moment with don discussing the future was incredible.  she is so clear and focused and driven.  i envy her until i remember the price she paid for it all.  the price joan paid for her life has seemingly made her boring and bitter (too harsh?).  she has been sour this entire season.  she's lost the flirty "joan gets her way" charm, rightfully so, she's fucking rich now she doesn't have to put up with all that male bullshit anymore - oh wait - she still does...she's like a deflating ballon with a chip on its' shoulder.  i want happiness for her as well.  i'm disappointed she's finding it in a man in a leisure suit.  


- burst out laughing with the peon tried to deliver don's joke to the client.  how come people don't get it?  pete gets it.  pete GETS don.
- the fact that they haven't changed joan's living room color the entire series has worn me down.  i want a salmon colored living room.
- ken is so depressing now.  i almost hate him.  it makes me sad.

Monday, April 13, 2015

diana diana diana

diana diana diana
MONDAY, April 13th 2015

aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhadkjcnaslkmejwfoelsk dear god! i know _really_ eloquent critical thinking happening right here.  new business might be my favorite episode of mad men ever.  matt weiner went into my brain, mined my deepest desires then went beyond and gave me things i didn't even know i wanted.  jesus h christ.

last night's episode was RIVETING.  don and diana.  diana.  diana.  i'm already a sucker for broken female characters who leave their children (like i said matt weiner went into my brain) but this was just brilliant.  diana's plot line is the perfect manifestation of what don is doing and has been doing all series long.  she is stuck - except she is _not_ hiding it from herself.  she acknowledges and lives in her pain, unwilling to let go.  she is honest.  don is STUCK too - except he tricks himself into thinking he isn't.  he runs from his pain so aggressively and blindly that he constantly leaves ruined people in his wake (ahem megan, which is why this episode coupled so perfectly with her goodbye).   diana held up a mirror to don and he was befuddled.  she won't run and he's too old to be running.  

i fear we won't see diana again.  which kills me - cause i'm like don.  i like to run.  i want them to be rescued, i want them to make each other whole.  but i'll settle for the dull deep ache of knowing that everything was possible and nothing was possible.  those are embers that can keep one going for years.


- oh roger.  i forgive you because i just can't not.  that mustache.
- gross.  harry crane.  we all fucking knew you were a skeezbag, now we have proof.
- i live for the car rides.  the production quality is so shitty which only highlights how powerful the content is.  no horrible greenscreen can bring them down!
-  1 million dollars in 1970 is the equivalent of 6.1 million today. holy fuck.  don't feel so bad for megan any more. nope. nope. nope.
- diana is def wearing a crashdown (roswell) uniform.  i love when my favorite shows collide...even if only in my mind.

Tuesday, April 7, 2015


TUESDAY, April 7th 2015

mad men mad men.  you are bleak.  i get it - people are generally unhappy and we trick ourselves into thinking we'll grow out of it.  that one day we'll achieve our goals.  that one day i won't be unhappy anymore - everything will fix itself.   but you won't and it doesn't.  mad men proves it.  don hasn't changed.  that. is. all. there. is. soooooo thanks for that.

it also scares me seeing rachel menkens in the final season's opener.  i've always believed their relationship was the first and reddest red flag that don _is_ impulsive and motivated purely by keeping that pesky hole (well really more of a sand through sieve thing) in his heart/life filled.  chasing the possibility of "happiness" AT ALL COSTS...which could be right off a building.  can you see why seeing rachel _now_ makes me nervous?!?! especially a dead rachel.  ugh.  but i mean obviously i don't think that's what will happen (right?!).  all kidding aside death is all around don.  he has an eerily calm relationship with it that has cracked veneer written all over it.  but for now his curse seems to be to live unchanged.


- i'm glad we found peggy almost going to paris instead of crying on the floor alone in her apartment.
- i miss the la office.

Monday, April 6, 2015

file created 6/14/13

file created 6/14/13
MONDAY, April 6th 2015

guys.  this is important and a bit cheesy.  i wrote this two years ago and now the final episodes are upon us.  think about it.

"As I lay on the beach listening to the New Yorker Out Loud podcast I hear Emily Nussbaum nonchalantly utter something: 

I have to say it’s a little bit weird watching a show where I feel like people will be disappointed if the main character doesn’t commit suicide at the end.

Record scratch.  I sat straight up in the sand, removed my hat, turned to my boyfriend and said, “WHAT?!”  This could not be right.  Who thought that?  Who are these “disappointed people” she was talking about.  Don committing suicide had never crossed my mind with concern to the series finale – fuck, in concern with anything at all EVER.

I couldn’t lay back down and enjoy the sun, I was bothered.   Why did she think that?  Then, as I looked out to the sea, the knowledge washed over me: Santa isn’t real and Don is going to kill himself.  The opening credits feature a man (Don) falling down the side of a building!  How obvious it was and how blinded I had been.

The credits of course are the most obvious "clue" but going back and reviewing the series they are littered throughout.  A scene in season five where Don finds himself peering down an open elevator shaft, pausing, and contemplating.   Don’s enthused Hawaii campaign with the disappearing man that reeks of suicide.  A coded line casually delivered by all characters hinting at the subject.  Meghan says to Don “You can jump from the balcony and fly to work.  Like Superman.”  But of course we all know that Don, especially season six Don, is not Superman and would fall to his death. 

Season six has a particular melancholic tone to it.  I couldn’t quite put my finger on why that was until I returned to the first season.  In season one there is hope and excitement and even passion.  Now, a sadness permeates the show, all of a sudden fives seasons later we finally realize the slow erosion of Don.  Don has become a severely depressed individual obsessed with death.  With this in mind it’s hard to watch the man America fell in love with be so disappointing and blind to his own affliction. 

Death surrounds Don: his brother kills himself, Lane Pryce kills himself, Don kills his mother in birth, Don sees his father killed by a horse, Don “kills” Dick Whitman (his own identity) in Korea.   Don is also impulsive.  He begs Rachel Menkens to run away with him (ON TOP OF A ROOF!!) and he means it, he’s done it before.  Family means nothing to him.  He marries Meghan on a fevered whim.  Even his decision to switch dogtags with Don is in the moment.  He is constantly looking for immediate ways to change his life, to distract him from his own emptiness. As a viewer, season to season, I watch him make these rash impulsive decisions and foolishly hope each one will bring him happiness.  But the newness wears off, distraction fades, and he is again searching to fill the void.  Don is impulsive and does not fear death.  He would confidently step off a building if he thought it would fulfill him.

Ultimately, how difficult can it be to die when you have already killed yourself?"

BOOM! and why, hello rachel menkens final season opener...hello.  you make me very nervous.